Goal 2

De-clutter one room before Aug 1. (I think I’ll start with my bathroom!) I’m tired of feeling like the walls are closing in on me! I’m sick of not being able to find things! I can’t clean because I have to spend all my time picking up first! I was never taught to keep things clean. I was never forced to clean as a kid, so I never really learned how to do it. Although, when my condo was on the market, I kept it spotless and it really wasn’t that hard!

I’m hungry

So I’ve had the lunch and dinner from day 1 of the military diet and I can tell you I was ok in the morning and afternoon. It’s now 5:00 and we don’t eat until hubby gets home at 7 and I think I might eat my own arm before then. I have to remember that food is just a means to an end. Eat to live. Not the other way around. I have also been staring a bucket of cookies all day and not eaten one. I also haven’t strayed from the diet one bit (except for one baby spoonful of baby food).

It’s been almost a year

And I’ve gained more weight than I’ve ever gained before. I did really well after btw was born, but then he got sick and summer was here and I started eating ice cream and chips and playing FarmVille all day. I’m so sick of being disgusting. I’m not even a cute full-figured lady. I’m just a big, fat, cow. I’ve gained 10 pounds since he came out of the hospital. It’s so hard with Tom because he suggests things like tacos from ElLoco, Bratwurst, pizza, and chili. But I just don’t care. I’ll make what I want. And if I plan my meals ahead of time, then I won’t have to ask him what he wants. I miss clothes. And shoes. And feeling good naked. I’m uncomfortable all the time. I can’t exercise because I’m so fat. I’m 5’6″ and 175 to some days 180 pounds. What sucks the most is that when I was younger I ate like shit, drank all the time and was 10-20 pounds less than I am now. Whatever. Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Bottom line. End of story. I’m a mom. I’m not going to be a gross mom.

I’m trying the military diet starting tomorrow. I’m sure it will work for a minute and then I’ll slip right back into my bad ways.